Siete Altares y Topado...mmm...

I never realized how much I can worry over things. We needed to find an internet café to clear my camera memory onto a CD again, and even though I don't voice my thoughts, I very often find myself preoccupied with the details of how things are going to work out, and wondering IF they are going to work out. Of course they will! But how often I doubt it.

After walking all around town looking for an open internet cafe, we found a place which charged a little bit more than we wanted (and whose attitude was less than desirable about serving us). We kept walking around, and met a Garifuna woman (that's the name for the locals in Livingston. They have very black skin, and speak Spanish and sometimes English) who offered to braid my hair for a good price. Como no! (Why not!) It was a painful ordeal, but I had fun having my appearance transformed, and chatting with our new friend. Since the power was still out in the city, going to the major business shops for the internet seemed our only option. As we continued to walk around town, Anghel motioned me to enter a Tigo shop with him, where a young woman sat at the desk with a laptop. What a clever guy. He struck up a conversation with her and asked her simply if we might use her computer to burn a CD. She was very kind and accommodating, and I had a pretty good conversation with her as well while Anghel went out to buy a blank CDR. I am constantly amazed and the trust and friendliness of this people, and especially in Livingston. Because it is so far removed from civilization and difficult, (an hour boat ride one way), there is an atmosphere of peace and safety there. Perhaps this contributes to the renown gaiety of the people. The Tigo woman and I spoke a little about my volunteering at the school in Guatemala City, and she commented on the great need for education in Livingston. Again, the distance from civilization makes it difficult to access higher learning. Our new friend at the Tigo store wouldn't take payment for helping us (even though it took about an hour to get everything done), so Anghel and I went and bought her some fruit since she hadn't had breakfast yet. By the time we took a taxi towards our next destination (which I had only a vague idea about), it was about 9am. We walked about an hour after the taxi ride, but it was a pleasant walk along the palmy beach of Livingston. I still felt a little tired, and very thirsty, but the ocean breeze was refreshing (though still humid), and the change of scenery gave me new energy. We crossed little rivulets running into the ocean, and saw boats close to the shore casting nets for fish. There were lopsided palm trees filled with fresh coconuts, as well as mango trees which dotted the shore. I stopped Angel to try to get a coconut down (I was really thirsty!), but even when we got it by knocking it over and over with a huge bamboo pole, we had no way to cut it open. Doh! We decided to stash it under a little ledge of sand and tree-roots until our return. Not much later, we found a man with a machete who we paid 5 quetzales for one of the coconuts of his tree. He let me try to hack mine open before he did the rest. It was great! I felt like a real native of the land. Hehehe. And MAN, was that coconut milk GOOD. So refreshing, and mildly sweet. So fresh! Once we cut the coconut open for the meat, our new friend sliced me my own spoon out of the shell of the coconut, which was perfect for scooping the soft white flesh out of the small crater of the core. By the end of our trek, after having a refreshing drink from a natural spring coming from the rocks of the beach jungle, we paid admission at the little restaurant/rest-stop and hiked into the forest, home of Siete Altares. Here, again, the pictures must do the talking. This was by far my favorite tourist spot of the trip, having all my favorite qualities of nature. It was cool under the canopy of trees, picking our way over rocks and across the stream. There were little plateaus of water leading up to a quaint fall, which is probably why the place is named "Seven Alters." I only wish we could have stayed longer at the waterfall, but we had to get back in time to meet the taxi and continue the rest of our journey. I felt higher in spirits going back than coming in, and for once, Anghel was the one trying to keep up with me. I had also made a decision to appreciate my trip and my tour-guide more, since earlier I felt a bit plaintive and reserved, and that and a prayer made all the difference. I was really enjoying myself, now. On the way back down the beach, we met some Guatemalan youth knocking mangoes out of a tree with a slingshot. They shared one with us, since we couldn't reach (thanks, Anghel, for asking for me), and continued happily on our way. I commented frequently how beautiful the landscape (paisaje) was "¡Que hermoso!", to which Anghel always replied "Thank you," as if I had been referring to him. What a clown! (¡Payaso!) I met the same group of guys again on the way back into town, when Anghel and I hitched a ride on a pickup truck. I rode in the back with them, and had a stilted conversation, which led them to recommending a nearby restaurant for my first taste of "Tapado." Anghel and I got off and went into the something Gato (I forgot the name), one of the three famous restaurants in Livingston for great Tapado. It cost 56 quetzales, pretty steep compared to everything else (Anghel got his lunch for 12), but worth every bit! That soup...was...SO...GOOOD! I don't usually make a habit of eating food that still has head and eyes attached, but for this I was willing to make an exception. One taste of that creamy, tantalizing coconut broth made my spirits dance and my mouth come alive. There's no way to describe it other than, "Will you marry me?" One huge bowl was quite satisfying, though, and you can see the before and after photos. It took me about 30 minutes to eat, because I had to peel the shell off of the crabs and shrimp, and carefully remove the bones as I ate the fish, but it was quite the experience, and working to get the meat off my food only made me appreciate each bite that much more. After lunch, we walked back to the hotel, (me lugging the two coconuts we'd found on the beach all the way), and cleaned up. We got to a lancha just in time, and as we waited for it, met a funny boy who had randomly wandered up to me to talk. He was fascinated by my camera, I think, and showed me some coins he had. I gave him a couple of 25 centavo coins, and he pocketed them quick enough. Anghel and I had to laugh as his older sister came and hauled him away by the arm with a strong rebuke from mother for wandering off. His chin was stuck proudly in the air as he allowed himself to be scuffled gruffly away. It reminded me of a comical scene from "The Little Rascals." After a half-hour boat ride to Porta Barrios, we met with a disciple named José and met his family. His wife's name is Evelyn, and they are the Corranado family. They are so sweet and giving! They moved to this poor city to help start a church, and are extremely poor themselves, with 3 or 4 children (I believe...yo creo), and only two bedrooms. There are already two other families whose lives have changed because of them, and I've never met such faithful, content, and generous people with so very little. We went out shopping with Evelyn and José, and Anghel and I bought them groceries as well as food for dinner. Evelyn made some delicious Argentinian food for us (since that's where she's originally from), and I ate more than my share of Platanos. She had made some kind of runny egg with a really tasty salsa, frijoles (of course, por supuesto), and ham on bread. Good breakfast sandwich, and a special treat at 8 pm at night. While we ate, Anghel shared a scriptures and well all talked about God according to his word in the Bible. I was asked to share, so I read Romans 8:1-17 and talked about what I had recently been learning about my selfishness and ungratefulness. The whole night made me very aware of our need for God as human beings, and sharing in the truth of what Jesus taught, which is love, and forgiveness, and a way out of all the mess inside of us as people. Time for bed...see you at 1am when we wake up to catch our bus back to Guatemala city!

To the Canopy Tour, and Beyond!

Once again, I’m learning how much more I need to trust God one day at a time. Today, I had a 100 quetzale bill left (worth about $13), with an extra 6 quetzales in change. We got to our first destination that morning after a 30 minute van-ride into the countryside of Peten: the Mono Canopy Tour. Unfortunately, (communication again), they didn’t take credit card as we had believed. The cost normally was 150 quetzales, and we were about 30 minutes or more from any ATM, plus the cost of the taxi (80 quetzales). We wouldn't have time to go pull out more cash from an ATM, so the manager of the tour graciously offered to give me the ride for only 100 quetzales, seeing as how it was early, and I was the only customer. The only problem with that offer was that it left Anghel and me without money for transportation. We'd be stuck out in the middle of farmland with only my 4 quetzales and Anghel's 6. "You take the ride," Anghel urged me with a grin. "We can make it with 10 quetzales." "Are you sure?" I'm sure he heard the skepticism in my voice. I understood enough Spanish to know that the man had told him it would cost about 40 quetzales each to get to the city we needed to go afterwards. "Sure, sure, go have fun!" Just trust. "Okay...thanks, Anghel. Here we go!" I got to zip-line through the forest of Peten on this great canopy tour! I love this sort of thing. Nature and the beauty of God’s creation always make me feel awe and wonder. I'm so grateful for Anghel's confidence as a tour-guide. I couldn't have done all this without him. So, you're probably wondering what happened after my tour. Well, the first van that passed us on the road was willing to take us into the city we needed, so we could pull out money from an ATM and pay him. Great! Easier than pie...or pan. We waited a couple hours for the next long bus-ride (about 3 and a half hours) into our next destination. Surprisingly, we were late again, arriving in Rio Dulce at about 4pm. Not to worry: we were able to find a final boat heading for Livingston (which one can only reach by water), and enjoyed our own private lancha ride through the peaceful river waters of... Wait a minute...what's that? Hay tormenta! A storm's a'comin'! Thank goodness I had my water-proof clothes handy. And not a moment too soon. That thing came up quick! I wish you could have been there to hear how loud the thunder was, and how bright the streaks of lightning stabbing from the heavens into the water below. What an experience! Those water drops were fat and heavy, too. Okay, we're through the storm, and are now enjoying a smooth ride across the scenic shores of the river. Oooh...ahh... After the storm broke, we saw an incredible feat of fishing! Check it out! If you thought the surprises were over, you haven't learned your lesson yet. ;) Once we got to Livingston, the storm we had escaped following close on our heels, we discovered that there was absolutely, positively no electricity. We arrived just as the sun was setting, at about 6pm. I hear the nightlife in Livingston is completely different than in waking hours. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I never got to confirm this rumor. After an impromptu dinner of frijoles, eggs, and bread we were able to cook over a gas stove, Anghel, Diana (our gracious host and local hotel owner, who incidentally is studying the Bible to become a disciple), and I strolled the black streets of Livingston to accompanying peals of thunder and lightening. Thanks to the humidity here, as was in Peten, I enjoyed the enchanting sparkle of fireflies along our walk, which will continue to be a special memory for me. Once we got to the main street, there were shops with power (thanks to their back-up generators), and one restaurant had a live band playing a typical kind of island music, though with a distinct latin flavor. I guess that's a piece of the night life I've heard about. We walked another half hour back to the hotel once we finished meandering, and I gratefully took a shower (cold, of course), and plopped into bed. Sweet dreams!

Another Toursist at Tikal

It was about 8am when we finally reached our destination, which meant we were a few hours behind schedule. Still, it all worked out. We checked into the hotel that Gelion’s cousin owned, thinking we would have two rooms waiting for us, but discovered only one made for us. There’s that Guatemalan communication again, hehehe. I’m learning to expect it, which is helping my heart take everything in stride.

We left our stuff in the room of Jardina Maya and headed to Tikal, leaving the details of the hotel to work out when we got back.

As for Tikal, well, if a picture is worth a thousand words, I’d better let the camera do the talking:

After our full day trekking across the Mayan ruins of Tikal, we took a few trips back and forth from our hotel to the internet café, in order to transfer my pictures from camera to CD. On the way, and walking with a friend we had made on the street that same morning (supposedly a local drunk, but he hardly seemed drunk to Anghel and me), I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye. Thinking it was nothing but those things that always float in our vision, I ignored it. Then I saw it again. And again. Was I seeing stars? Maybe I had done a little too much walking today... But no, there it was again, and this time I could center my vision on it. "Anghel, what are those? Are those...FIREFLIES?" The realization hit me as I turned my head to look at the field of grass standing just before the shore of the river. There were hundreds of sparkles flashing at different intervals, like little sparks from a flint, only silver instead of gold. I had always imagined fireflies as tiny lightbulbs, glowing and bobbing in swarms through the air. But these...these were random, tiny flashes of starlight, equally magical, but hardly noticeable if you weren't watching carefully. I was enchanted. "Me encantan!" I exclaimed in girlish delight. So I have a childlike heart...¿Sí, y qué? When we finally sorted things out at the hotel, it was 9pm, and Anghel had to find a different hotel since there were no more rooms available. The wife of Gelion's cousin relented and let us have the room for 50 Quetzales, as we were led to believe the cost would be (instead of 150 that they were going to charge us). We just had to promise not to tell anyone else that we got it so cheap...whoops. ;) Well, anyone in Guatemala. Finally, after a 9 hour bus ride to Tikal, and another 9 or 10 hours of walking, hiking, high-stepping, and climbing, I enjoyed a niiice, cold shower. Of course, I had to share it with a few spiders, but they were probably as hot as I was. Honestly, I was feeling a little spooked about being all alone in the dark room, and draping masquito netting over my bed didn't help my claustrophobic feeling. Once the lights were off, it was black, and I mean pitch. Who knows what lurks in the beds of Peten? My hostess told me to always check under the sheets before I get in. Very comforting. Once in bed and protected by netting, I read some scriptures by LED light, and felt better about the fear in my heart. I spent the night well enough, despite a fitful rest. With only sheets for covers, even though it was humid, I found myself chilled. Still, I'm grateful for a bed. Buenas noches.

Back in Business!

At last, I’m back to work with the HOPE school teachers! It’s been two weeks, and it feels like forever. We had a great class of sensitivity and characterization, mostly different variations of the mirror exercises, and I could see the growth from the beginning of class to the end. These methods really do work. I have to keep reassuring myself that there is value in what I’m doing here.

Later that night, I got my things together for my trip to Tikal, and Quincho and Anghel picked me up to go to the bus-station, where we took a bus at 9pm. Now, this bus-stop was in a very dangerous part of the center of the city, so I was having feelings of fear and faithlessness. Someone earlier had expressed some concern that it was only Angel and I going, but I didn’t see anything wrong with it, since Anghel is like an older brother to me. I ignored the false guilt threatening to dampen my spirits, and tried to think positively. Honestly, though, my attitude was less than hopeful. My fears were only aggravated more when our bus broke down one hour into our trip, and we had to wait over an hour for another bus to come pick us up and continue the rest of the journey.

Our seats felt smaller in the second bus, but we got a partial refund on the tickets, and I was so tired that I slept through most of the trip well enough. Poor Anghel wasn’t so lucky, being the big man that he is.

Frustrated Feelings

Sunday service at 9am again. I hitched a ride with Quincho, since Evelyn G. was with the disciples from N.C. in Antigua. I was bummed I didn’t get to go with them, but I just didn’t know the plans in time. Oh well! I’ve had great experiences with the natives of Guatemala these last few days. And next week, I’ll get to do my own tourist trip to Tikal with Anghel! Woohoo!

I’m writing this very late (it’s the 26^th), but I remember the past few days being very hard emotionally. I think I’ve just been frustrated by all the spoiled plans I had, and not knowing what’s going on. I’ve put so much effort into planning this trip, but haven’t had near the time I wanted with the HOPE School teachers. I’ve been wondering if I’ve made any kind of lasting difference or change, and that thought has not only been discouraging, but upsetting as well. I’m trying to pray, but God feels far away again, and I see myself eating mindlessly to numb the pain. Ugh, I’m digging my own grave like this. I need to stop the cycle! It’s a vicious cycle…

I got to pray on the roof tonight, but things really turned around in my heart when I shared all my feelings with Evelyn once she got home. The disciples from N.C. had left earlier that morning, and things were promising to settle back down again. I was getting in touch with my feelings from this past week, and it felt good to know they were being heard and understood by someone who knew my heart and my language. Relationships are so important, I’m realizing more and more.

Otra Cita con Quincho

Saturday, I went shopping with Elizabeth (we took a taxi both ways) in the afternoon, then got ready for another date with Quincho, and Gelion was our double. They were encouraging another sister for her birthday today, and we ate some Salvadorian food at his brother’s house, then watched a really good film named “Hotel Rowanda,” or something like that. Very good movie. Dramatic.

The area that Gelion’s brother lived was absolutely gorgeous. I think it was the Beverly Hills of Guatemala City. It was out of all the pollution and traffic, and more in the countryside. There was such a beautiful sky. I’m going to really miss the skies in Guatemala. So many beautiful clouds, and thunderstorms almost every other night. We had one later that evening, on the way back home after the movie.

Office Work--Another missed lesson.

Since Edgar was still in Antigua, Estuardo came and picked me up in his dad’s car, and I had a productive day of work in the church office. I was still a little bummed that we didn’t get to teach a lesson for the teachers, who weren’t ready for a lesson today because of the work they needed to catch up on from all the construction this week. Hopefully I’ll be back to work with them next week, but for now, I’ll just enjoy whatever the day brings.

Harry Potter VII

I had a day of indulgence as Edgar took the NC group to Antigua where they would stay until they left Guatemala, so he couldn’t very well pick me up today. Busy guy. Hehehe. I stayed home and read Harry Potter 7, which one of the disciples from the North Carolina group had given to me on Tuesday night, since he had already finished reading it. Could hardly put it down. I’ll give J.K. Rowlings one thing, she knows what the people like. Good for her. These books were a great accomplishment, although I still find myself frustrated with some of the world-views presented in them. Namely, “the ends justify the means.” The heroes of the story would sometimes act with low integrity, yet were applauded or rewarded for their attitudes and the outcomes of their decisions.

Well, it’s normal thinking in this day and age. Reading things like this only urges me to write something with a different world-view, one that more closely matches what God teaches through Christ. Like forgiveness, and love for enemies, and mastering the evil intentions of our hearts like jealousy or arrogance. I wrote a paper for a philosophy class once, comparing the world-views in Harry Potter to those in the Lord of the Rings, which has a distinctly Christian world-view. I have a completely different feeling when I read Lord of the Rings, or see the movies. Such is the subtlety of the teachings in the media. I wouldn’t restrict my children from reading Harry Potter, but I would want to read it with them and have discussions about how the characters behave, or could have behaved differently, or just to analyze the different world-view presented. There are many good lessons in the stories of Harry Potter, like loyalty and friendship, or equality between races and standing up for what you believe, no matter how much opposition you face.

Okay, I’m off my soap-box.

Later that night, I caught a ride with Gelion to church, where we had an all-regional singles devotional. I caught a ride home with Elizabeth and another brother who dropped us off, then I stayed up until 2am reading more of Harry Potter. Truly an addicting story. I hope the children who have grown up reading these stories continue to look for other books to read.

Una Cita de Tourismo

Another fun day of tourist activity! Gelion and another sister came to pick me up, and after getting Anghel, we headed for Tekpan (I hope that’s spelled right). It was great. So beautiful! It was actually the same road we took to Panahachel, so after about a 2 hour drive, we arrived to have breakfast at a quaint little restaurant in the hills. Rincón Suizo, I think is the name. Anyway, they had the cutest little hot-chocolate mugs. Mmm, so good…

After a stout breakfast, we headed to La Ciudad de Iximché. These are some ancient ruins in Guatemala, though aren’t as well defined or grandiose as Tikal. I’m really hoping to go there before the end of my trip. Actually, I mentioned it in the car on the way here, and Anghel said we could go if I wanted, as long as I paid for his hotels and bus tickets. I think it’s the only way I’ll get to go, because there’s no way I’m going alone, and no one else but Anghel can take the time off work or can speak enough English to communicate with me.

Anyway, back to the date. We really enjoyed all the rolling green hills of Iximché, and entertained ourselves like clowns by attempting walking-handstands, and climbing impossible trees. Yes, it’s true, my foot got stuck on the way up the tree, and I had to get pushed out by Gelion, boosted by Anghel. I’ll have to show you the footage. Embarrassingly funny! I had a great time.

After Iximché, which I was able to get in for the same cost as a Guatemalan (the ticket-taker was being very generous), we drove to Antigua. Once we were there, Gelion let me drive his car into the main city, to the mock-horror of the other passengers. Hehehe, so much fun! He was being very trusting, since I didn’t have my license with me and had never driven in Guatemala. It wasn’t so difficult, and it was a treat for me!

What else…hmm. We walked around Antigua (which is one of the older, quaint cities in Guatemala) and got some helado de fruta (fruit popcycles), then headed back towards Guatemala City. We stopped at a really cute restaurant on the way, and had some interesting Mayan drink called Atol de Helote…err…yeah, I think. Tasted like hot and creamy corn soup! Mmm. Really good. I shouldn’t have, but I ordered some móle de platano afterwards. It wasn’t as good as the móle Margarita made at Comenzano. ;)

We were all sogged out and ready for our beds by the end of the date, and I got home around 6:30pm. It was a lot of fun, and a great experience of the country. I’m really grateful for the hearts of the brothers I’ve met here. Even though Gelion and Anghel don’t speak much English, they still felt comfortable giving to me, and amazingly enough, we were able to communicate effectively and have a good time.

Well, that’s all for now! !Adios por ahora!

Muriela's Shack...is home.

Well, Edgar’s been a busy man with all the responsibility of taking care of the North Carolina group, so I wasn’t too surprised or worried when he forgot to pick me up that morning. They all came to get me on the way back to church, where we had another lunch at Comenzano (where I’ve become an honorary member of the staff). Afterwards, I went to help them paint more of the mural, which by now had come a long way. I painted the word “HOPE” in the shapes of white cloud puffs coming from a train’s smokestack, then chalked some more inspiring words on each of the train’s compartments: esperanza, fe, amor. Hope, faith, and love. I wouldn’t be able to help them at the school tomorrow, because of a date I had planned with Gelion, so that was all I was able to do before we finished.

It started raining again, so we finished what we could and cleaned up the paint. Muriela from Comenzano saw me outside and beckoned me to follow her to her home, which actually stood only a few homes away from the HOPE school. I was amazed to walk through the flimsy metal walls to find a few rooms of a makeshift house separated by sheets or cardboard. There was even a kitchen with a little stove they had somehow plugged in, and a refrigerator, but otherwise, the house was bare. One room held all the beds, which were strewn about the floor haphazardly, and I was reminded again of the extreme poverty these people endured. Muriela then told me how flimsy her house was, and that one good push could topple everything. It would cost her $12,000 to fix it. $12,000; dollars, not quetzales! To keep a flimsy house from falling over. It blew my mind.

She obviously can’t afford that kind of money, or she would be in a better house to begin with. Muriel is a single mother of 3 children who are all over 7 years of age, her oldest being about 11 or 12. Muriel is in her thirties.

How can I ever be dissatisfied with my life when I remember her, when I remember how many situations are like hers or worse?

Beautifying the Escuelita!

No lesson again. When Edgar picked me up in the van with all the other disciples to North Carolina, I had a feeling the construction on the school would take the place of any other activities I might have had planned. At least I was able to help improve the school with the others, though I continue to feel disappointed that I’m not able to spend as much time with the teachers as I felt necessary to train them. Still, I know it’s all making a difference.

I helped layout the mural they wanted to paint on one side of the new playing grounds Edgar had made with basketball and soccer posts. Unfortunately, it started to rain heavily, so we weren’t able to do much other than make a chalk-grid and discuss how the rest of the mural would look. We tried to help the guys paint laminate on the new roofing slats they would lay on the school in the next few days.

By the end of the day, almost everyone was wet, tired, and hungry, but hopeful for the work they would accomplish and had already set in motion. It was great to feel that we were making a difference, and seeing the American disciples playing football in the rain with the children from the HOPE school made me see, once again, how incredible it is to be a part of this spiritual family. The way cultural boundaries are crossed and different people are united under Christ and his call for us to love one another…it’s incredible to see.

I also got a close-up on all the things about American culture I don’t miss, spending so much time with the N.C. group. Grumbling, complaining, selfishness, and independence seem to be the reoccurring theme. Namely, we’re immature and egocentric. It’s not that we don’t have other redeeming qualities in our culture, but these are the very things I believe makes most of the world dislike Americans in general. There’s a coldness in our culture, an isolation that isn’t healthy or beneficial for our relationships. There’s also a dependence on technology and an addiction to media which I see more clearly, serving in a place where advanced technology is scarce, and family and relationships are all you have to cling to.

If there is one thing I hope for my country, it is to bring more compassion, purpose, and selflessness to our youth. Maybe that’s why I need to go back. But first, I need to root this selfishness out of myself, and there, my friend, is the rub.

After a brief stop at the group’s hotel, we went out to eat at Pollo Campero, and I’m ashamed to say that I had 2 soft-serve ice-cream cones after a full meal of salad, Buffalo wings, and pizza. But boy, were they good!

Welcome N.C. - Sunday Service

Early morning service at 9am. There was a special welcome for the disciples of North Carolina, and their church minister gave the lesson in Cuban Spanglish. It was entertaining, though I admit to still having trouble following the message sometimes. I get the gist of it, but most of my spiritual food is coming from my own times with God. I really miss the lessons in my home church, the Turning Point.

I helped cook lunch again, and enjoyed the fruits of my labor once everyone else had been served. Mmm…I’ll miss Comenzano.

After lunch, the others headed to the school while I took a much needed nap. Things were beginning to get crazy, and I could tell the following week would put my lessons with the HOPE school teachers on hold. I was right.

North Carolina Group Arrives!

Estuardo picked me up around 8am, and we headed to the church office with a couple of teen disciples. Today, the youth ministries would be cleaning and painting the children’s ministry classrooms. I helped at Comenzano (Betsy King) to prepare lunch for all the North Carolina disciples that would be coming in later that day (about 22 of them). They would be staying for a week to do construction on the HOPE school and then take a few days to be tourists.

I helped in the kitchen, and as soon as they didn’t need me, headed down to help clean the children’s classes. It was great, listening to the radio (they play a lot of my favorite American songs out here in Guatemala) and cleaning to the upbeat rhythms and familiar tunes.

Then the American disciples arrived, and it was back to Comenzano to help. It was fun to feel at home in the kitchen, and then serve the disciples from America as if I were a native Guatemalan. I was even able to help translate some Spanish for them. Hearing all the gringo accents made me remember my first few days in Guatemala, and how I must have seemed to everyone. I suddenly realized how much I had learned in the past 5 and a half weeks, and felt very grateful for the experiences I’ve had.

After serving lunch and having some myself, they sorted the disciples to various homes they’d be staying in for the first night. We had a teen named Jill (14 years old!) stay with us, and I don’t think I ever felt more aware of my age. It still shocks me when I realize I’m not the youngest person in a group anymore.

Once everyone found their host-homes, the roomies and I headed to another disciples home, where we had a fantastic dinner prepared for us while we toured a local fair (faria) together. It was great. Gelion and Quincho helped explain different Guatemalan facts to the group. Gelion bought some unique candies for everyone to try, and I got to talk to various brothers and sisters from the North Carlina church. It still feels funny when they ask me to help translate, but I like being able to help. We stopped to throw some baskets to try to win a prize, and three girls from the group won something. I was one of them! Woohoo! Poor brothers…hehehe. Looks like the girly, granny shot is the best one for rigged fair-games.

After a few rounds on the bumper cars, (my first time driving in Guatemala!), we rode down a huge slide on gunny sacks. Good times! Gelion and Quincho kept saying what a big kid I was. “Sí…y que!” Hehehe, that’s my trademark saying out here.

Anyway, we walked back home at around 8:30pm, then told some horribly corny jokes to pass the time until dinner was served. We were all hungry by then, so were very grateful when the carne, bread, beans, and Guatemalan salad was served. Mmm mmm mmm…so good.

Jill and I arranged to share a little time with God tomorrow, and got to bed fairly quickly, as tired as we were.

Hasta mañana.

Panahachel, here I come!

WOOHOO! My first real tourist trip since I came back to Guatemala. I found out this Friday morning that Edgar wouldn’t be able to take me to the school, since he was taking Nancy and her family to Panahachel for some sight-seeing. Well, since my lessons depend on my equipment, and since I can’t bring my equipment to the school by bus (not safe), I accepted Nancy’s invitation to come with them. After all, I hadn’t done any real touristy things since I got here, and the opportunities were rare.

It was fun! Edgar and his family came (his wife, Alma, and two children, Pablo and Kamila), as well as Nancy’s son, Calvin. After a 4 hour drive, we got to cross the lake from Panahachel to a little barrio called San Pedro, where we bartered (regatear) for souvenirs and other things. I feel bad sometimes, because I get really good prices…maybe too good. I bought a hammock for almost half the price they asked for it. It’s not one of those cheap kinds, either, but hand-made. Poor Guatemalans… Must be the Jewish blood in me…hehehe.

Next time I’ll try to be a little more generous.

We crossed the lake again to return to the main city, and continued shopping, though I didn’t buy much afterwards. I did help Christine with her bartering, though, which she appreciated, since it saved her about a third of the cost.

Whew, I’m tired. The drive back home was quiet, since most of the group was sleeping. We finally stopped at McDonalds at around 11pm (I just felt like going straight home) to have dinner, and then finally got home around 12am.

Time to hit the sack. I’m in Evelyn Ramirez’ bed tonight, since Nancy and Christine are in mine and Evelyn Guitierrez’s. ¡Buenas noches!

Holé Mole

MOLE Day! I think that’s how you spell it. Móle? Aaaaanyway… Check out the video recipe! Maybe you can try it at home. I know I’m going to, hehehe. Oh, and Happy Birthday, Lloyd!

Tonight, Nancy and her daughter Christine came in, and I felt great talking freely in my own language! Christine is 17, and she and I hit it off. It was weird seeing a bit of my country and culture this close, after 5 weeks in a foreign land, but it was refreshing, too.

Though I was tired, I felt that the arrival of these guests called the best out of me, and I denied myself to bond and connect with Nancy and Christine. It was a good decision, and I realized I needed to make similar choices more often throughout my trip, not just for new arrivals or strangers I wanted to impress. Ugh, this trip is definitely revealing some ugly things in my character, but it’s worth it if I can let go of them and let God change me.

Bumps

Well, Estuardo came to pick me up to go to the school, so I could give more demonstrations to the teachers, but as we waited for the bus, I found out that today was examinations for the school. Sooo, I since I’d be just sitting around doing nothing while they took exams, I decided I could be more productive staying home. Poor Estuardo. He came all the way to my house to pick me up. Hehehe, oh well. Such is the value of thorough communication, something sorely lacking in Guatemala. So, I spent the day writing in my diary about my classes with the teachers, and got to edit some video footage. I went shopping later in the afternoon with Edgar, so now I have food again. I don’t think I’ve appreciated my car enough. What freedom I enjoy in America! What opportunity to grow and explore and learn and…well, everything! I think what I’m missing the most about America is the ability to take my belongings with me without fear of being robbed or putting myself at risk. I miss being able to walk around in public on my own, to explore the city without fear or danger. I miss being able to go to a bookstore, plop down in a comfy arm-chair and browse through hundreds of books on any topic I would want to learn about. I miss having internet access anywhere I go, so I could look up some tidbit of information I know Google would find for me in two clicks of a mouse. Then again, I don’t miss how fast life can be in America, and how independent I become once I settle into my routine. I can have so much—often times, more than I need—that I don’t realize how little I have invested in my relationships. That’s something I want to change when I go back home. Oh, tonight I had a little bump with my roomies. I was really tired after coming home from shopping and I’m not sure what else (I’m writing this from memory on August 26th), but I remember them telling me at about 10 or 11 pm that we would be staying up to clean the whole house for the arrival of Nancy and her daughter (some disciples from North Carolina who would be staying at our place a couple nights). Well, I didn’t have the best reaction, feeling a mixture of defensiveness at the way I was told this news, and a little selfish about my space and time. I went up to the roof to pray about my heart before talking to my roommates about a compromise. I didn’t want to just go to sleep while they stayed up and cleaned, but I felt upset at the late notice, and I admit feeling a little resentful; of all the roommates, no one cleaned the house more regularly than I did. For them to tell me we’d be cleaning, without even presenting it as a choice or request—or even acknowledging that I had already cleaned the kitchen that day—just made me angry. Still, after praying for mine and their hearts to change, I came back down and offered to clean the bathroom as I got ready for bed, as a sort of compromise. They said not to worry, and to just go to bed, though I could feel a sort of wall between us. I didn’t argue, but let the matter go until we all had slept and were in better places emotionally. Hasta mañana.

Forgotten Adventure

Another early time with God (this feels great), then it was off to the shower. Edgar picked me up around 9am, and then I got some email answered in the office before going to help Margarita in the kitchen. Whew, this is fun work, but it’s really hard not to nibble on everything while we’re cooking. Mmm… It’s always fun to laugh with Margarita (head chef), Muriel (the tortilla maker), and even the more reserved cleaning lady/dish-washer (whose name escapes me at the moment). On Thursday, I get to learn to make MOLE! WOOHOO! I got to eat some great lunch as payment for my work, then answered more email before heading back to the kitchen to help cook dessert (postre). Afterwards, I did some more blogging, then worked on some lessons. I won’t bore you with more details, but I had a little adventure at night, when Edgar forgot that he couldn’t pick me up today (and forgot to tell me that). Luckily, Estuardo’s Bible Study was rescheduled, so he came back to the church and helped me find a ride with one of the song-leaders who were meeting at church that night to practice. We grabbed some Chinese fried rice from the place across the street, then chowed down and had a great conversation while we waited for our rides to be ready. I really love how spiritually minded the brothers and sisters are out here. They constantly think of the unseen, and refer to the scriptures often with such a confident belief that I see how little I have truly put my trust in God’s promises. We made it home safely, and I have one more great adventure to add to my experiences here. ¡Hasta luego!

Happy B-Day, Jar-Jar Bro!

It’s my brother Jaron’s birthday today. Happy B-Day, Jar-Jar-Bro! How young are you now? I won’t give it away to the whole world, hehehe. I have to say how great it’s been to get to know you more the past few years. You’ve been a great friend to me, and an inspiration. Thanks for continuing to strive to be a better man, and for always supporting my dreams and giving me encouragement to keep up the hard work. You’re an incredibly talented man, and a dreamer. Thanks for sharing your passion with me. It’s contagious. I hope your birthday is special, memorable, and filled with hope for your future. As for my day, it was pretty relaxing. I wanted to call my brother, but didn’t have the right number in my planner. Without internet access today, I’ll just have to wait until tomorrow. So, I just did a lot of planning, organizing, preparing, and chatting with friends I could reach back home. Wow, I miss everyone more and more.

Running and Babysitting in Guatemala

Today was the great race for HOPE Worldwide. Well, it was only 5k's, but the jog definitely made me remember how much more I need to exercise. Gelion (the brother I met at the wedding) came and picked up Elizabeth and I at 7 am, and even supplied us with some Gatorade. I regretted drinking it all when I then had to answer the call of nature after we'd parked. Gelion and I ran to a nearby McDonalds and made it back a few minutes before the race started. Luckily, they gave the women a few minutes' head start (so I finished somewhere in the middle of everyone), and they supplied us with Have you ever wondered why we call babysitting, "babysitting"? The oddity occurred to me again when I tried explaining the term to Evelyn, whom I'd be helping watch her friend's children for the evening. Well, after a good service at church, we headed to watch the rug-rats, and had a pretty good time, though I was feeling extremely low on energy. It was pure self-denial to play games with the kids and try to understand what they were rapidly trying to communicate with me.

Una Bida (A Wedding)

August 4th, 2007 (Saturday)

Today, it has been 6 years and 6 months since I became a Christian. I had an incredible time of prayer in the fresh morning, gazing at the clouds as they shifted and danced in the sunlight. It had rained during the night. I love the smell after it rains...

Later in the afternoon, after some much-needed down time, Evelyn picked me up with the girls to go to the wedding happening at 3pm. It was nice to see a wedding from a different country and culture. It was similar in tradition to ours (lighting the unity candle, having special songs sung, exchanging the vows and rings, etc.), but it was about 2 hours long. Whew. There were about 5 or 6 special songs sung to the bride and groom by friends, and a few more played over speakers. I'm sure they were just building the anticipation...hehehe.

Anyway, it was fun, and afterwards, we all crowded downstairs to pig out on mini keish and other assorted finger foods. There was a toast with champaign, and of course, the tossing of the bouquet...

I CAUGHT IT!! Not just once, but TWICE (I guess they throw it three times in Guatemala.) So, it sailed right to me the first time, the second time it hit the ceiling and a little girl picked it up, and the third time it came right to me again. All I had to do was snatch it out of the air. If that's not fate, I don't know what is... Well, either fate or the fact that I was a good 4 or 5 inches taller than everyone else. Muah ha ha. STILL...I've never caught the bouquet before, and this had a special significance to me in light of some specific prayers I had this morning about my future. My awe of God soared to a new level.

After three pieces of wedding cake (oink oink! What?...they were smallish-like slices!), the roomies and I went out with some of the guys to a quaint little street filled with art and knick-knack booths, and bistro-type cafes and restaurants. I ordered Tres Leches, which is a type of cake soaked in sweet milk (okay, I had a major sweet tooth tonight), and had a good time talking with everyone and laughing about whatever silly things came up in the conversation. I met a few more people who spoke some English, so that was nice. I think I'm learning to enjoy myself more with others!

And to think I was considering staying home today to rest. Thank you, Evelyn, for humorously rebuking me for "resting too much."

Climbing Pacaya

WOOHOO! All I can say is, BEAUTIFUL! I haven't heard silence like that, looking at landscape like that, since...jamas! (Never!) It took us about an hour and a half or two hours to climb to the base of the valcano, where I gave my lesson to the teachers (only an hour or so), and then another 30 or 40 minutes to climb up the volcano. We couldn't climb after a certain distance (about halfway up), since the rocks became more fine, and the danger more real. (Quite a few times during our rest near the top, we saw the volcano spitting out massive boulders which tumbled down the face to the ravine below.) ¡Chilero! (Cool!)

Climbing up and over those sharp, magma rocks, I could image how Frodo and Samwise might have felt on the cruel slopes of Mount Doom.

I was feeling a lot today, a wave of discouragement and negative emotions which almost stole my enjoyment of this wonderful experience. I pushed through the lesson with the teachers, at a loss for how to conduct my usual training in such an open, distracting place, but God blessed the effort and we had a good discussion and review of the main principles of using Drama in the classroom, and even an impromptu smelling exercise which everyone enjoyed. I really think the teachers are won over to the value of these methods! They're more and more interested in my lessons. I think I'm growing as a teacher, too, which helps a lot.

Did I mention I'm only eating fruits and vegetables today? (I've been feeling yucky eating all this fatty, greasy food, so I'm trying to get back into some good habits.) By now, I had eaten all I'd brought and was starving, which didn't help my emotional state. I just tried to keep my bad attitude from seeping out and spoiling a great day. Ugh, I hate it when I get in these moods. I noticed how I was isolating myself from everyone, choosing to walk on ahead of the group or lag behind to find solace and comfort in the solitude and the beauty all around me. I tried to tell Tania about it, but it was hard with the language barrier and the exertion of the climb, so I just tried to pray in my heart and keep my thoughts positive. Once we got as high as we could go up the volcano, Tania and I lagged behind and prayed. Actually, I went a little distance from her and had a private prayer with God while she had her own time alone in the silent magma wasteland. Praying helped a lot, and I got to express all the pain and emotion my heart ached to release. It was nice to be able to cry openly without worrying about anyone watching or overhearing my cries to God, especially looking out over such a special landscape. It was a beautiful moment. Unfortunately, once we climbed down the volcano, I felt the battle with the emotions resume full force. Satan knows exactly where to shoot me, and he wasn't sparing any ammunition triggering my worst fears, emotionally. Maybe someday I'll figure out how to handle this struggle more successfully and spiritually. For now, I'll just have to trust God's grace to overlook my immaturity, and put my hope in his power to change it. When we finally climbed down the mountain around 4pm, and hitched all the bus-rides back into Guatemala City, it was about 7:30-8pm. We had some Pollo Campero (I had frijoles y platanos), I felt a little better, and then everyone split up to take different buses home. I went with Edgar to meet his wife at the University, where they would take me home in their car. (It wasn't safe to ride the bus to my house that late.)

About an hour later, I said goodbye to Edgar and his wife, Alma, and gratefully entered my home to greet my bed.

Reillenitos at last!

Another great day in the kitchen of Comenzano ("Betsy King"). I learned how to make Reillenitos today, the GENUINE Guatemalan way. Woohoo! Yum yum yummy. And the ladies in the kitchen are so nice. They give me free lunch for helping them. No arguments there!

I'm learning much more Spanish, since I've been downloading pages from an online Spanish dictionary and reading them at home during my spare time.

Tomorrow, I'm going to give my lesson to the teachers at the top of the volcano, Pacaya! I'll try to have some pictures up soon. Ugh, time has been much shorter lately. This trip is going faster and faster.

¡Hasta luego!

¡Triple Saldo!

I'm into my second month here in Guatemala! I can't believe I'm past the halfway point already. It feels like no time at all, and so much time...at the same time. Hehehe.

I went to the HOPE school to do some more demonstrations for the teachers, and got TRIPLE minutes today for my phone. That means I got 3x as many as I paid for. I bought enough for the rest of my trip, which was about $70 worth. The phone company gave me a water-bottle and a t-shirt as gifts for my handsome purchase. Tigo souveniers! (Tigo is the phone company I have.)

Anyway, it was a pretty good day.

Running out of time, but I hope to add more later! ¡Hasta luego!

More Fun in the Kitchen

¡Divertido en la cocina! I learned how to cook some sopa de vegetales (some vegetables I'm not sure if I can get in the States, like "wiskil"), and helped make tortillas from scratch. Very educational! I REALLY want to learn to make reillanitos and mole con platanos, but they promised that would come in the following week. I hope I can duplicate these dishes. Sooo goood...

Work was good, and I'm trying to learn new concepts in Spanish every chance I can on the internet, where there are tons of resources. My next goal is to make a list of ideas from my book that the teachers can continue to draw from after I leave, but I'll have to translate them before I leave.

I had a greeeat talk with Estuardo, who is becoming an even closer friend as the days go by, almost like the fraternal twin brother I never had. We're very comfortable giving each other a hard time, but that's just the way siblings show love, right? Hehehe, we know it's all in fun, and it's nice to feel comfortable being myself. In fact, that's one of the things he talked to me about--being myself more. Sometimes, depending on the situation, I change my behavior without realizing it. Maybe it's a pattern of self-protection from my childhood. Whatever it is, it's good to be aware of it more so that I can change it.

I really want to be myself with everyone I meet, without pretense or masks. It's scary to think about, but I know that's how Jesus must have been: genuine and whole-hearted.

Tonight, I felt really emotional, because I read some emails from home that made me realize how much I missed everyone. I feel like I'm missing out on some great memories with my friends back home, but I knew that would be one of the costs of coming here, and I try to console myself with the fact that there will be more opportunites to build memories when I return. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything! Even the experience of being more grateful for what I have back in the States.

I think my wander-lust is begining to fade, though I still want to travel...I'm beginning to see the value in having a base...a home. And there are so many resources in America that I'm beginning to appreciate more and more. There are also many things about America I don't like, but maybe that's what I need to try to change, to make a difference in my country, my culture...my home.

I'm eating a lot more than I usually do--partly because of the culture, partly the types of food (very heavy), and partly the way I escape from unconscious emotions. I think I've gained a little weight, and I feel less energized. I've got to change my habits, but it's been a bit of a challenge. Some of the food is SO GOOD. ;)

Now We're Cooking!

Another great lesson with the teachers! I taught them about developing speech through drama, and more specifically, developing confidence to speak at all. It was so fun. We did a few exercises in a marketplace, where everyone became a vendor selling wares of different kinds. I had music to start them off, and to take away the awkard silence at the beginning, and everyone began talking at once as directed. (That keeps people from feeling like they're being watched by anyone else, and builds confidence.) The exercises developed as we went, and I can see the growing enjoyment and excitement in the teachers' eyes as they realize how valuable this work is for their students (and even for themselves).

After lunch, Edgar came early to pick me up, so I got an extra half-day in the office. :D That's always a bonus for me, since I need the internet for most of my work.

I had lunch with Estuardo at "Betsy King" and was inspired to talk to the women in the kitchen.

"Esta muy rico!" I said, which means "This is delicious!" I've been wanting to learn how to cook some of my favorite dishes here, so I told them so.

The head cook, a short, stout woman, smiled up at me and said, "Te enseñare." That means, "I'll teach you."

So, we worked out a schedule of when I'd be available to help in the kitchen, and I start tomorrow! I'm so excited! ¡Hasta luego!

¡Ofrenda Especial! (Special Contribution)

I actually felt a little frustrated today, but don't know why. Evelyn and I went shopping again (this woman is INCREDIBLY patient and giving). She treated me to the best waffle cone and pistachio ice cream I've had in Guatemala since Pollo Campero got rid of their pistachio flavored frosty cones (I'm still praying they bring those back before I leave!), and I picked up a lot of things for the household.

I never realized how long cooking and preparation take. It took me 2 hours after getting home to organize what I bought, to cook lunch, and then clean up the mess I made. The good thing is that I have food for the next week or two.

I tried to do laundry, but it always seemed someone beat me to the machine when I went to put my clothes in. Oh! That may be why I was frustrated. And I guess I was tired from all the cleaning.

Oh well! One thing I'm learning here in Guatemala, don't sweat the small stuff. So, I didn't have a lot to choose from as far as church-clothes go--somehow, I ended up being more dressed-up than I'd been since I came to Guatemala. :)

Today was the church's Special Contribution, and of all things, I forgot my camera! It was so cute to see the children's ministry perform a little song and dance, and then give their offering to kick off the rest of the service. The room was decorated with all kinds of "Thank You!" notes and expressions of appreciate from God. I was humbled to see their ministry of older women giving their contribution, which they earned by selling food they made every week before and after church. In fact, they have a little restaurant at the top of the church building that they run to raise money for themselves. It's inspiring, and the food is great! Chadd affectionately coined the place "Betsy King" on our last visit, after Betsy, the older woman who runs the restaurant. She is a peach! I'll have to post a picture of her when I get a chance.

But I digress.

After service, George, Elizabeth, Evelin (2), and I went to a chinese restaurant for dinner. I ordered sweet and sour chicken (SO GOOD) and we all shared some of our plates. I devoured my portion. Something about the pollution in Guatemala City really works up the appetite. Jejeje (Spanish for "hehehe"). George and I had a great, deep talk about relationships, and I was touched by the story of how he and his girlfriend fell in love. Once again, these people's hearts of unconditional love and faithfulness to God is inspiring. I'll have to tell you the story sometime...but I have to go! Talk to you soon!

Quality Time con Elizabeth

A pretty kick-back day. The two Evelyns went to a wedding rehearsal while I stayed home with Elizabeth. We had a really great talk, continuing a conversation we'd had last week after the date, regarding hurt and fears keeping us from showing more love to men in the church. Elizabeth hadn't been on a date in 1 and 1/2 years! It was 2 years since she had been asked by any of the Christian men, and she only felt that she had 1 real friendship with a guy in the church. I told her about the plan Evelyn and I had to host an encouragement night at our house, so that the brothers would have more opportunity to invite sisters out on a date (not just ones they liked), then we talked about our responsibility as Christian women to love our brothers in the faith. We decided to challenge ourselves by praying about one brother to give our hearts to unconditionally, without any expectation, and for the sole purpose of encouraging him and helping him feel God's love through us.

We prayed that night by candlelight, after watching some TV together and sewing some patches on our couches in cute shapes to cover up the holes that had grown from frequent use. Overall, it was a very fun, bonding night, just the two of us.

Happy B-Day, Brandon!

A quick call to Brandon in the morning to wish him a Happy Birthday, and I was off to the HOPE school with Edgar.

Now, as a Christian, you'd think I'd be relying on the source of my hope and purpose every day, but honestly, I've recently neglected the most important thing in my work with Drama and the vision I have for Education: God. Today, I prayed specifically for my lessons, for specific outcomes and the reactions of the teachers, for God's glory in all of this. That made ALL the difference. I felt things working out smoothly, I felt a change in the teachers' attitudes. I don't think I felt much different, though I had renewed faith and determination, but could tell God was orchestrating a great workshop. I repeated the lesson from Monday, apologized for the lack of clarity last time, and really felt a connection with the teachers as I explained how they could use this exercise with their class.

We all had fun, and by the end of it, I could feel the built trust, the confidence of the class, and their sheer wonder of how drama could instantly revitalize and energize life and learning. They were beginning to see why I was so passionate about Drama being a vital tool in education! They were beginning to share my vision, and the vision of Brian Way (the biggest influence on my views of Drama and Education).

In a few sentences of prayer, I had gone from discouraged and doubtful about whether there was value in my mission, to faithful and determined; from insecurity in communicating my lessons, to confidently leading exercises that were fun, enriching, and informative; from independance and self-reliance, to deference and dependance on the creator of the UNIVERSE, not to mention Drama and Education.

As simple as prayer is, I'm blown away by its power. I think that's what God wanted me to realize--that I can't take credit for this. Just asking for guidance was enough to bring more results than all my research, planning, worrying, and controlling.

I have a feeling I am going to run up against this lesson at least a few more times before I die. ;)

¡Adios por ahora!

Thumby Balboa - Halfway Point

Time for Thumby's rebuttle to my roomies' thumbs' challenge. Hehehe. After I finished some work and had a little free time, I made an impromptu parady of Rocky Balboa's training sequence for YouTube.

I had a great time at the Single's service tonight, too. Probably the best one yet! I'll be honest, I've almost fallen asleep a few times during the messages these past few weeks. Maybe it's the sickness, maybe it's the mental exhaustion of trying to assimilate a new language 24/7, or maybe it's the heavy foods I've been eating that sit so nicely in my stomach. (I think I've gained a little weight since I've been here, too, hehehe.) Anyway, this service, I sat right up front so I wouldn't be tempted to doze. I took notes, and really focused on being present and engaged. It was great! I sat next to Marlenne, one of the sisters I knew from my trip last November, and who speaks a little English. One of the brothers from the date last Saturday (Elizabeth's date, who played guitar) was sitting next to me and gave me a souvenire mug of the most beautiful landscape in Guatemala. (I REALLY like it [me encanta], and have té de Manzanilla [Chamomile tea] in it for my times with God every morning.)

Anywho, I can't believe I'm approaching the halfway point of my trip. I know it's only going to go by faster from here on out, but try not to think about it. I'll miss this place...the people...the culture...the generosity...the humility...the hugs...the kisses...the love...

I'm getting emotional just thinking about it.

Be grateful for every moment, Shaela. Life is short, and this trip is only a fraction of it.

¡Adios por ahora!

Thoughts and Reflections

No work today! Woohoo! I took the day off so I could rest, and BOY did I rest. I slept until 10:30am! 'went to bed at 10pm-ish, too. That hit the spot. I think the worst of this flu is over. I took the rest of the day to relax, study some Spanish grammar, watch some movies in Spanish with English subtitles, and clean up the house a little. (Laundry and the like.) Gotta get rid of all those germs so I don't reinfect myself.

What else did I do? Mmm...not much. It was a great day!

I'll take this opportunity to describe a little bit of life in Guatemala. It's noisy. The walls are thin, so you can hear the neighbors' music (which they like to play loud), along with layers of other sounds coming from my roommates' rooms, their radios, the TV, and the like. I'm so grateful for ear-plugs. :D Hehehe. And my iPod has been keeping me sane, with a little help from Enya and my "Sounds of Nature" MP3's. I guess you get used to it. I haven't been too exasperated by all the noise, but sometimes, when I'm really tired, I'm very aware of how it affects me. I never knew how much I enjoyed the sounds of silence. (Name the band who sang that song...10 points!)

Have I mentioned how much masquitos love me? I find an average of 3-4 new bites every day, although lately I've been finding ways to reduce that number to 2-3. Namely, thick pants, sweatshirts, and socks wherever I go. I wish I could take a picture of one of these suckers close up. They're vicious. They've gotten through some of my clothes, and find me when I'm most exposed, even if it's just for a few seconds! Bloody buggers...literally.

Well, life is good. ¡Cuidate!

A Day of Encouragement in the Office

Physically, I'm feeling about the same, maybe even a little worse, but medicine is amazing. I was able to pop some pills and go to the HOPE office to get some work done, as well as keep in touch with my friends in America. I got some much-needed encouragement from my roommates' YouTube video challenge for Thumby. I also received a package in the mail (my first one!) from a friend in America, who had read Fuzzy Land to his Children's Ministry class one Sunday. He sent me the pictures his class drew of their favorite fuzzy characters, telling me how they loved the story. I was very touched!

After a full day in the office, Estuardo and I were picked up by Evelyn and dropped off at home just in time for me to throw dinner on the stove. (Porcupines and mashed potatoes! Mmm mmm!) Estuardo invited one of his friends along, Herber, to make up for a hang-out time they missed yesterday, which worked out perfectly. I called the missionaries to see if they were coming, but it turns out that Elder Moore was sick (I hope I didn't give him my infirmidad!), so they couldn't.

Well, we had a great dinner, the four of us (my roomie, Elizabeth, joined us), and I made reillanitos for dessert. By the time the guys left, I was pooped and ready for bed. (Or as Evelyn would say, "Necesito mi cama, y mi cama me necesita"--"I need my bed, and my bed needs me.")

¡Buenas noches!

Turbulance in My Purpose

Okay, so I'm really trying to make each of my lessons count, but lately, I don't feel very effective. The teachers don't seem interested in or won over by the methods I'm teaching them. Sometimes I doubt if these techniques are really effective after all, or worthwhile to anyone but me. Then I remember how much my students have enjoyed the lessons, and how much I myself have, and I realize I need to find a way to make these teachers feel the same joy in my workshops with them. Maybe it's because I haven't sparked their interest yet. I need to find out what works for them, or what makes them feel comfortable.

Today I tried some exercises more to do with the subjects they may be able to use Drama to reinforce, such as reading stories, and there was some more interest than usual. But because most of today was experimental, and I was still feeling woozy on medication, I felt unprepared, which I'm sure spilled out into my lesson in the scattered way it was conducted. When lessons aren't communicated with confidence and clarity, it doesn't matter how valuable the knowledge it--the lesson won't be effective. That's what I'm coming to realize, anyway.

Still, there were some very good experiences, and I think I know where to focus next time. I'll just repeat the lesson on Friday when I'm fully aware and cognizant.

Later that night, I went shopping with all my roomies (mis compañeras) to buy groceries and food for the missionaries tomorrow night. I left them a message, but am not sure they got it. Estuardo said he could join us for dinner, so hopefully they'll still be able to come.

I'm really having fun with my roomies, but I am very aware of attitudes that sometimes crop up in my heart. For instance, I'm encountering a LOT of selfish feelings. I think their generosity is making me more acutely aware of them, as are situations which challenge my trust and generosity. This trip has been so good for me. I just hope I can continue to monitor and repent of these things when I'm back in my comfort zone in America.

Slowly on the Road to Recovery

Estoy infermaaaa! (I'm sick...Waaah...)

Friday I woke up with a fever and the dizziness of the flu in full swing. I had to cancel one of my classes with the teachers (I was hoping not to miss any days, but it couldn't be helped) and took the day off to rest and recoop. At night, I felt well enough to go shopping with Evelyn for groceries and necessary household items. Evelyn is so giving! She constantly makes herself available for my needs, and has a wonderful heart about it! I have so much to learn from her example.

I felt a little better after sleeping until 10:30am on Saturday morning, but since Evelyn, Elizabeth, and I were encouraging some brothers that night, I spent the rest of the day getting things prepared (at a slower pace, since I was still feeling a bit groggy). I took some medicine and felt better by the end of the night when we had our date. It was great! My mom sent me her lauded recipe for "Porcupines" which were ground beef meatballs covered with rice and a red sauce with Worcestershire sauce (did I spell that right?), and creamy mashed potatoes on the side. Everyone LOVED the food, and I was glad to share a taste of American cuisine with my Guatemalan friends. The missionaries (Elder Moore and Elder Pollock) stopped by during our dinner to see if I got their invite to a church event celebrating "Pioneer Day." I told them that I appreciated their warm invitations, and communicated more clearly my intentions for having them over. (Not to return to the LDS church, but to share kindness, and hopefully tell them more about my story.) They understood, and reiterated that I was always welcome, regardless. I thanked them, then set a tentative night when I could have them over for dinner. (I plan on serving the same dish I did for the date--it was such a hit! And I bet they're hankering for some home-cooking from their homeland, huh?)

Let me tell you more about the date! It was really fun. After dinner and reillanitos for dessert, we played some Poker, and it eventually became date against date between Evelyn, her date, and me and Quincho (my date, who happens to speak a little English, thankfully.) We won! Woohoo! Oh...hehehe...

To top off the night, we all went up to the roof and sang songs to God to the off-tune sounds of my guitar. (But first, the guys gave us a lovely rendition of "La Bamba.") Elizabeth's date, Jerardo, also plays guitar, so he busted out some songs I didn't know, and everyone sang along while I kept beat on an upturned pot I'd been sitting on. Good times, but the night air started to get to me. I was feeling worse.

After Elizabeth and Jerardo prayed, the guys encouraged each of their dates in turn, and we ended the date feeling uplifted and encouraged. We said goodnight and the guys helped Quincho down the stairs (one of his legs doesn't work, so we walks on crutches). What a great guy, he is, and such a big heart! Definitely like a big-brother for me here in Guatemala.

Once the guys had left, I started to get ready for bed, but Elizabeth put on one of the movies we rented for the date (but didn't watch), and I got hooked. I stayed up until 1am just to finish "In America," which I must say is a great movie. Bad idea, though. I felt the germs celebrating.

So, it's no surprise that I woke up feeling sick again, and won't be going to church or to Edgar's children's birthday party later. So, I'm sitting here at home, trying to recoop completely so I can give my lesson tomorrow for the teachers. I can't miss another one! There are too few as it is.

I guess I should be laying in bed trying to sleep...huh? You were thinking that, weren't you! Okay, fine...I'll try to rest. Talk to you later!

El Flú

Today I'm feeling the flu coming on. My roommate Elizabeth has been sick all week, and I was afraid it was only a matter of time before I caught it. I hate to say I was right, but I was right. I gargled some nasty salt-water (wakala!) and dropped some hydrogen peroxide in my ear-canal (little tricks I was taught to kill germs at the source). We'll see what happens. I might take a nap in the office bed (they have everything here!) and hopefully kick this thing before it's fully grown.

Work at the HOPE School has been great! The teachers are responding more and more to the work I'm doing there, especially as I've been doing some demonstrative exercises with their students and they see the principles come alive.

Emotionally, I feel SO much better than the first four days of my trip. I'm learning the language gradually, and my relationships have been great.

Emotional Release

Okay, sorry for the long silence (textually), but you can always catch a glimpse of my past weeks via my video blog.

Tonight was really hard, emotionally. I caught myself eating mindlessly, which for me is a sure sign of avoidance. What was I avoiding? God, actually. I felt guilty for not praying more the past few days, and instead of just taking the time to pray, I was turning to distraction. When I realized what I was doing, and once Evelyn got home and asked me how I felt (since I seemed different), I got honest with her and with myself, and we prayed. I think it goes without saying that I felt MUCH better after some heartfelt honesty with God, releasing my fears and pain through much needed tears.

Meeting with the Missionaries

Remember those missionaries I met within the first few days of my arrival? Well, they stopped by tonight and visited a bit. I explained to them why I was in Guatemala, and they shared a bit about their own trips. (Two of them had been here around a year.) It was a blast to the past, and a bit weird, since it's been over 6 years since I converted to Christianity. (Most of you know I grew up LDS until I was about 14.)

We sang an LDS song I remembered from their songbook (the Spanish version) and one of them prayed, and I invited them to dinner sometime. They invited me to church. Hehehe. Of course. They're missionaries, remember? Anywho, I admire their tenacity and drive, and I hope I can encourage them with some American cooking one of these nights. And, who knows, maybe I'll get to share more of my life and how God has changed me.

In any case, it's nice to see some familiar faces, so to speak.

Woohoo! Un gran dia! Out the door at 9am, then I had my second lesson at the HOPE School at 10am, and things went pretty well. The teachers are a bit reticent to try some of the exercises I proposed, so I'll have to find some creative ways to build their confidence and offer more privacy in their work. (It's hard to do these dramatic exercises if you're afraid of what people think of you.) If I can get the teachers to loosen up and participate in the exercises more freely, they'll understand the benefit drama can give their students. So...baby steps. We'll start even more basic next time.

After my lesson, I shared lunch with Tania, one of the teachers who spoke a few words of English here and there, then filled in for one of the teachers for about 40 minutes! Estuardo translated for me, and I had to think quickly to come up with things to do with them. Gratefully, they were 11-13 years of age, so they were a bit more manageable and yet still young enough to enjoy these types of dramatic exercises. I mimed for them at the beginning to get their attention, then we did some dramatic exercises in what they learned about plants growing. I had them grow from seeds (semillas), which they curled up very small by their desks to become, into whatever plant they wanted which they had learned about recently. We did a few more exercises with a storm coming, destroying most of the "flowers," and then some exercises in growing the different parts of the plant in the order which they developed. I think they will always remember how a flower grows, now, having become one themselves. And I believe they had fun. They even clapped for me when I left! Definitely the highlight of my day! Maybe I'll get to teach that class again. I might have the other teachers observing me next time, so they can see how the students respond to the dramatic exercises, and how useful drama can be for their development and understanding.

I played ping-pong with Josue (another teacher) on their home-made table for a couple of hours while I waited for Edgar to pick me up at 5pm. Then we went to Pollo Campero and I helped Edgar with his English classwork. (He's taking an English course and is in the very beginning stages, so it's interesting trying to communicate and teach one another. He's helping my Spanish!) He treated me to a frosty cone as payment, which I was happy to accept.

After Edgar dropped me off at home, I cleaned the kitchen (those dishes pile up fast!) and tried to figure out how to turn the tempurature down on the fridge. (My eggs were frozen this morning, ha ha ha.) I cooked some fried-rice for Evelin and Elizabeth, which they really appreciated, and will try my hand at rellenitos before the night is done.

Now, I'm ready to use that guitar for the first time with my roomies on our roof. I love the sky here! (¡Amo el cielo aqui!) Adios por ahora!

Una Desparida

The day started out good, (I bought a guitar for cheap, for my music lessons and personal worship), but took a dive when I let frustration get hold of me before church. I was organizing the house, and the more invested I get in the way I straighten things, the more it bothers me when someone else messes it up. So, I'm embarrassed to say, when Evelin unpacked my stuff and put it in drawers or in places around the room (a very nice gesture!), I felt attitude! Oy! Ayayay!

I apologized on the way to church for making a short comment about not being able to find things as we were getting ready, but Evelin didn't notice my attitude. It still felt good to own it.

Church was okay--I felt very tired and my stomach was upset, and I actually began dozing during the message! No one was translating for me, so I felt a little strange and disconnected from everyone. The loneliness again! At least I had my bilingual Bible, so I could read the whole scripture in the lesson and form my own points. Hahaha. It was pretty similar to what was taught.

After church, things got a bit tougher, and yet there were blessings to keep me holding on. A sister I knew from America was visiting for the next few days, so we talked and connected during a going-away party ("desparida") for another American sister who had been serving in the Youth Corps for 2 years there in Guatemala. We ate at Pollo Campero (I love thier frosty cones, but they don't have Pistachio flavor anymore!) and I had some fun taking pictures, though the loneliness in my heart grew everytime I saw others laughing and hugging and just being intimate with one another.

Cuando, mi Padre! When will I feel normal again!

Cenar con la familia de Evelyn.

Sooo...today was pretty good! I got to go grocery shopping at last, and cleaned up around the house. I felt more at peace in my heart (having time by myself to talk with God or just get organized really helps me) and I felt more and more settled.

¡Gracias por Dios! He's getting me through this somehow.

At night, I went with Evelin and Elizabeth (fui con Evelin y Elizabeth) to her parents' house (a la casa de los papas de Evelin) and had dinner to celebrate her brother's birthday. It was fun to mime for some of the younger family, although part of me did want to go home after a few hours. I was feeling tired and needing some time to prepare for the next week.

Evelin proves to be a constant source of encouragement, as I get open almost nightly about my lonely feelings or struggles. No matter how early she has to work the next morning, she's always ready with an open heart and willing ear.

The Storm is Passing Over

Up until now, prayer has been difficult. God feels far-off and I feel tired of reaching for him, but I still make the attempt. There is some wall between us, and I know it has to do with my unresolved friendship.

My first lesson at the HOPE school went very well! I was so happy to teach the "maestros" and see the principles I've been researching come to life. I'm so excited to continue sharing these great methods, and to see how the teachers themselves benefit from the lessons.

After a few more hours, Edgar gave me a ride back to the HOPE office.

Resolution at last! I took a leap of faith and just got open with my friend. Such a relief! I feel like I got my friend back and let go of a big weight at the same time. Now I'm beginning to really enjoy the trip, and all that I can learn and experience here. After our great talk, I climbed the ladder to the roof of the HOPE office and prayed the first deeply connected and hopeful prayer I've prayed in what feels like a long time.

The storm is passing over!

Later that night, I went with Evelin to her brother's house to have dinner with the family. As we pulled out of our driveway, who should I see but 2 LDS gringo missionaries! My window was down as they walked toward my side of the car, so I waved and said "Hola!" and to their amazement, "Hello!" in perfect American dialect. I told them they should stop by sometime, and after some introductions, pointed to which door was mine. Maybe I can have them over for dinner sometime! Gotta feed the missionaries! I must say, being a former LDS member, I felt a sense of home and family at the sight of them. Fellow Americans out to make a difference in a foreign land!

Evelin's family lived about 20 minutes away. Everyone was so warm and welcoming. when we arrived. I had such a great time (my heart really felt free again), and didn't even feel uncomfortable that no one spoke much English. That's the power of being out-of-yourself and loving. Why can't I stay in this zone more often? Well, this trip is going to give me a LOT of opportunity to practice.

Here's to trials that teach us to be more like Christ! Salud!

A Day in the Office

My first official day in the office. I got to answer some emails and work on my lesson. Things were still a bit tricky between my friend and I, as I was still debating how to bring up how I felt.

Instead of getting distracted by emotions, I fixed my attention on getting my lesson together, and actually felt some real excitement and hope about my purpose for the first time since arriving in Guatemala.

As my lesson came together, I thought, "Maybe God will make a difference through this...through me..."

Primero Dios (a Guatemalan way to say, "If it is God's will.")

My Independance Day in Guatemala

The next day, we went back to the HOPE school to plan the rest of my schedule with the teachers. I'll be teaching them for about 5 hours a week, one lesson on Monday, and another on Friday. Not as much time as I was hoping for, but enough. Tuesdays and Thursdays would be my time in the office to prepare and translate my lessons, and Wednesday would be a day for observing the teachers and helping them in any other needs they might have.

Things were definitely progressing, even though it was another difficult day. My friend and I were still not resolved from yesterday, and I felt very distant and unsure how to act.

Though it was Independence Day in America, I felt far from free in my heart. Still, I was getting through it, somehow. Poco a poco. (Little by little.)

My Arrival in Guatemala

Aside from my plane being delayed an hour, I had a painless flight, and actually made a couple of new friends (Ruddy and Joanna). Ruddy is a native Guatemalan who now lives in Van Nuys, so I invited him to church when we both get back from visiting Guatemala. He's a nice man with a wife and family at home. He was very helpful at the end of the flight, taking me through the airport and helping me with my bags while teaching me some Spanish phrases to impress my friends with.

I was so excited to see Estuardo and Edgar (my old HOPE Worldwide friends) when I came out of the airport! They had a sign for me that said "Bienvenida, Shaela!!!" which I got to keep, and then we went right to the HOPE school to drop off another volunteer from San Diego who was training the teachers on classroom management and Special Education. (His name was Pedro, and a very fine teacher from what I could tell.)

Soon after arriving at the HOPE School, Satan wasted no time attacking my weakest point (loneliness), as one of the only two close friendships I have in Guatemala was severely threatened, and I spent the next 8 hours surrounded by people I hardly knew, who spoke almost no English, and who had no idea what I was going through. I cried a lot while trying to take a nap in the bedroom with no doors right next to the screaming baby and an overly curious 3-year-old who wouldn't give me a moment's peace, even when I tried hiding under the covers. I can only thank God for my earplugs and iPod, and the music list I had prepared for just such an emotional crisis.

Uplifting and therapeutic songs took the sting off my heartbreak, but I still felt foolish, unsure, and alone. The world had blackened around me, and suddenly my most colorful passions for the poor children of Guatemala faded to gray behind the pain and misery in my heart. How emotions can cloud and transform our lives in an instant!

Falling asleep amidst tears and prayers relieved some of the heartache, and after a few short naps and some better interaction with the family I was staying with, I made it through the rest of the night until Evelin came to pick me up and take me to my temporary home here in Guatemala. Seeing her again (my other best friend in Guatemala) and being able to speak English freely about my feelings made such a difference. A ray of hope slashed through the bleakness of my despair.

God was giving me strength, little by little, to carry on in this mission to spread hope. He was still leading me--he had to be--but it felt like all I could do was to hold on to his fingertips and try to keep up as I stumbled after him in the darkness.