Aside from my plane being delayed an hour, I had a painless flight, and actually made a couple of new friends (Ruddy and Joanna). Ruddy is a native Guatemalan who now lives in Van Nuys, so I invited him to church when we both get back from visiting Guatemala. He's a nice man with a wife and family at home. He was very helpful at the end of the flight, taking me through the airport and helping me with my bags while teaching me some Spanish phrases to impress my friends with.
I was so excited to see Estuardo and Edgar (my old HOPE Worldwide friends) when I came out of the airport! They had a sign for me that said "Bienvenida, Shaela!!!" which I got to keep, and then we went right to the HOPE school to drop off another volunteer from San Diego who was training the teachers on classroom management and Special Education. (His name was Pedro, and a very fine teacher from what I could tell.)
Soon after arriving at the HOPE School, Satan wasted no time attacking my weakest point (loneliness), as one of the only two close friendships I have in Guatemala was severely threatened, and I spent the next 8 hours surrounded by people I hardly knew, who spoke almost no English, and who had no idea what I was going through. I cried a lot while trying to take a nap in the bedroom with no doors right next to the screaming baby and an overly curious 3-year-old who wouldn't give me a moment's peace, even when I tried hiding under the covers. I can only thank God for my earplugs and iPod, and the music list I had prepared for just such an emotional crisis.
Uplifting and therapeutic songs took the sting off my heartbreak, but I still felt foolish, unsure, and alone. The world had blackened around me, and suddenly my most colorful passions for the poor children of Guatemala faded to gray behind the pain and misery in my heart. How emotions can cloud and transform our lives in an instant!
Falling asleep amidst tears and prayers relieved some of the heartache, and after a few short naps and some better interaction with the family I was staying with, I made it through the rest of the night until Evelin came to pick me up and take me to my temporary home here in Guatemala. Seeing her again (my other best friend in Guatemala) and being able to speak English freely about my feelings made such a difference. A ray of hope slashed through the bleakness of my despair.
God was giving me strength, little by little, to carry on in this mission to spread hope. He was still leading me--he had to be--but it felt like all I could do was to hold on to his fingertips and try to keep up as I stumbled after him in the darkness.
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