Frustrated Feelings

Sunday service at 9am again. I hitched a ride with Quincho, since Evelyn G. was with the disciples from N.C. in Antigua. I was bummed I didn’t get to go with them, but I just didn’t know the plans in time. Oh well! I’ve had great experiences with the natives of Guatemala these last few days. And next week, I’ll get to do my own tourist trip to Tikal with Anghel! Woohoo!

I’m writing this very late (it’s the 26^th), but I remember the past few days being very hard emotionally. I think I’ve just been frustrated by all the spoiled plans I had, and not knowing what’s going on. I’ve put so much effort into planning this trip, but haven’t had near the time I wanted with the HOPE School teachers. I’ve been wondering if I’ve made any kind of lasting difference or change, and that thought has not only been discouraging, but upsetting as well. I’m trying to pray, but God feels far away again, and I see myself eating mindlessly to numb the pain. Ugh, I’m digging my own grave like this. I need to stop the cycle! It’s a vicious cycle…

I got to pray on the roof tonight, but things really turned around in my heart when I shared all my feelings with Evelyn once she got home. The disciples from N.C. had left earlier that morning, and things were promising to settle back down again. I was getting in touch with my feelings from this past week, and it felt good to know they were being heard and understood by someone who knew my heart and my language. Relationships are so important, I’m realizing more and more.